I Almost Lost it…and then…

Yesterday was the epitome of a bad day.  I do not get stressed out/freaked out/pulled thin very often, but yesterday was definitely my limit.  I ended the day in tears on my kitchen floor with my friends surrounding me with hugs and cookies (YEAH! My friends are AWESOME!) I’m not sure what happened to me, but I was stressed out to the max pulling hair out of my head chunks at a time! -not really, but it was close-

Everything piled up at once.  I had 17 pages of papers to write before today, I had a test to take online, I had to do our kid’s ministry at church for 2 hours, and then on top of it all, my stinking car broke, and I can’t drive it.  So now we are looking into a new car for me because apparently I ruined my transmission or some other really important part of a vehicle that you aren’t supposed to break (way to go Megz!)  All this said….I was a little on edge…Luckily Jesus loves me through my friends in my tough times…

Thankfully, Jesus knows my heart,  and He knows I needed to be loved by some friends.  Luckily He blessed me with friends that are willing to put off their sleep and bring me cookies/tissues for my tears/nuts to snack on/Reeses/ AND they sang to me on my porch! Can you say cheering someone up in 12 different languages?!?! Yeah…I can’t either, but you get the point.  I was sitting in my kitchen crying at every little thing that happened (my phone falling off the table made me cry! PATHETIC!), and my friend Dane Miodov decided he wanted to bring me coffee and a cookie, followed by food/laughter/friends (Matt Callan and Dom Elliott)/and serenades AT 1:30AM! (Yeah, I know you are jealous of my friends) 🙂 I truly am blessed and thankful that Jesus continues to shine His light in my most pathetically dark moments.  Needless to say…I will be resting over Spring Break like nobody’s business!

Dane, Matt, and Dom-

Thank you for the hugs!

 

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Goodbye to Neverland

So I was hanging out with Deanna Wantz last week, and she was talking to me about life after college. One thing really hit me when she was talking…I have a little over a year left until I am working out in the world. She asked me, “What’s on your college bucket list?” I had not even thought about it. What am I going to do this year? By next May I will have an adult job (hopefully), working full time, and I won’t get to drop everything and go hiking or whatever

(eventually I will have to grow up learn how to act and leave my apathetic attitude behind)…it’s time to get serious, and live this “college life” to the fullest.

So this is my Junior/Senior College Bucket List:

* Take a road trip to Tennessee

* Hike through the Wichita Mountains

* Have my own garage sale

* Go on a Mission trip

* Make all A’s and B’s in a semester

* GRADUATE MAY 2013

* Work at CWE

* Go to Will’s Wedding

* Have a paint party

* Read 30 Books

* Read through the entire Bible

* Straddle a state line

* Drive to the beach spontaneously just to feel the sand between my toes

* Be able to run around Boomer Lake 3 times without stopping

* Get a snowcone with a friend and talk about Jesus for Hours on end

* Find a Honda CRV for graduation present 🙂

* Share a twix with a stranger

* Clear my Laptop of all old papers and notes

If y’all can think of anything else that would be fun to do, leave a comment and let me know!!! I’m taking this seriously 🙂 Livin it up college style 🙂

What Does Your March Mean?

I am sitting in my living room (thinking about how much I have to pee)…yup…hold on one second…

Ok, I’m back…I wanted to really start setting goals monthly, and not only set them, but accomplish them! So I have decided that my March 2012 means…

Image* Running/Walking EVERY day

* One pop a day or less

* Read one chapter of “Calm My Anxious Heart” a week

* Memorize one verse a week

* Clean my room once a week

* Skype with Reagan and Kenzi at least once this month

* Meet with Taylor Barnes every Monday

* Study/Do Homework at least 30 min a day

* Don’t wear makeup 3 days

* Celebrate mom’s birthday 🙂

* Hopefully Chasity Duncan can come home with me

* Something EPIC with Jesus over Spring Break 🙂

Some of these things may seem silly, but hey…that’s what my March means to me 🙂 Silliness with Jesus, family, friends, and workouts 🙂

Do You Ever…?

Today is a day that I just want to love. What does that mean you may ask? I mean I literally feel the sun shining on my face and arms, I see the blue sky and the green grass and I wanna roll in it. I wanna find the nearest biggest hill and roll down it like I’m 10 years old again. It’s a giddy Thursday 🙂

Most importantly though, I want to love on people. I want to give everyone I see a cupcake. I want to pass out high-fives (or fist bumps if you will) like they are going out of style. I want to run around telling everyone how amazing they are…even people I don’t know! All I can do is smile when I look around today. It is such a joy to be able to SEE (without glasses or contacts if I may); it is such a joy to take a breath and smell the wind 🙂 As Brooke Fraser would say, “There’s somethin in the water that makes me love you like I do. Doo Doo Doodoo Doo” Such a joy to sing and dance as everyone stares at you because you’re in public and YOU DON’T CARE! Ha!Ha! Now…I know a lot of you are probably wondering why I want to run around campus giving people high-fives and fist bumps…maybe you’re thinking…”ok, Megan’s gone all hippee cray cray.” I don’t really know what you’re thinking, but I’m about to explain what I’m thinking 🙂

I have been reading the book BOLD LOVE by Dr. Dan B. Allender & Dr. Tremper Longman III. This book is definitely “old school,” but Jesus is doing so much through it. I am in a chapter about forgiveness right now, and to be honest…FORGIVENESS is the EXACT reason I am in such a loving mood. If you seriously stop and think about the vastness of forgiveness that Jesus has lavished over us by dying on the cross…DYING, we are living in the freedom of Jesus because He was willing to take take take it all (via Hillsong) for us! He says, “I love you more” every single day!

I want to love people the way that Jesus did. I want to forgive the way that Jesus did. He said, “Love as I have loved you.” John 13:34. If that were the case…we wouldn’t hold grudges, we wouldn’t ignore people, we wouldn’t hate, we wouldn’t persecute…I know many of you may be thinking (just as I did for awhile) “Well, if someone intentionally hurt me, cheated on me, gossiped about me (insert what you may here…) then, I have the right to be upset…” The thing that REALLY hit me today is the simple fact of…Jesus still loves us more everyday. We intentionally hurt Him; we cheat on Him; we gossip about Him; we slander Him; we do everything we can to deny Him, and He still loves us more everyday. If we are to love like Jesus loved…do we really have the right to be upset and hold a grudge against one of his children?

Thursday’s Thought: How are you loving like Jesus loved? Why don’t ya hand out a fist bump while ya think about it 🙂

Chilling HOPE

I have been listening to the song “27 Million” by Matt Redman and LZ7 on repeat this morning. This is a song that was recorded at Passion 2012. It proclaims the truth that there is more in this world than our comfortable homes with our families. We can’t refuse it anymore. We can’t shut our eyes and wish it would go away. We have to lift up our hands and praise God for what He is going to do, how He is going to use us, and how many people He is already speaking to…but most importantly we have to RISE UP.

I get chills every single time I hear this song…

…every time I think about the sweet face of a 4 yr. old child who is forced to have sex 5-10 times a day…

…every girl I see with a broken heart because someone spoke evil over her…

…every conversation I have about someone seeking the healing hand of Jesus because of the CRAP people do…

…every time I think about the woman who asked Christine Cain, “Why didn’t you come sooner?!”…

…every little girl that ends up in tears because she “isn’t enough”…

…every time…

Jesus has really been revealing a lot to me the past few days (but ESPECIALLY this morning). There are so many things happening today that we as THE CHURCH should not be allowing ON OUR WATCH!

* More slaves in the world today than any other time in our history

* Suicide on the rise

* People enjoyaddicted to the sex industry

* Families being ripped apart DAILY

One line of this song says it all…”27 million, ARE YOU JOKING?!” Yeah! You said it all right there…are you joking me?? What you have to realize is the fact that 27 million is not just a number…it’s…

people.

Do something now…

A21

Tiny Hands

OATH

Not For Sale

Happy Valentines Day My Loves!

How many Valentine’s Days have you spent sad? How many times have you wished you had a box of chocolates, or some roses? How many years have you wished for something more on the most popular day for bad sweet greeting cards and cheesy cute stuffed animals? Yeah…it sounds silly when you really stop and think about it right? Now don’t worry, this is not another complaining post about how horrible Valentine’s Day is…this is not a “I hate single’s-awareness day” post. This is actually the exact opposite…

I want to share something incredible with you. Not so much something, but someONE. Jesus Christ. His love for you is so incredible! Jesus is the lover of your soul. The ultimate romancer, He is everything.

You are not alone.

Hebrews 13:5 — “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

John 15:15 — “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

You are not single.

Revelations 19:7 — “Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory!For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”

You are not unloved.

Ephesians 1:3-8 — “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.

You are not incomplete.

Colossians 2:9-10 — “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

You are not insecure.

Romans 8:31-39 — “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died more than that, who was raised to life is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:”For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughter”No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

YOU MATTER. YOU ARE DEARLY LOVED. YOU ARE CHERISHED. YOU ARE ADORED. YOU ARE WANTED.

He is there for you. He is waiting for you to turn around and run into His arms. That’s the beauty of it! IT’S FREE!

Something cool at Oklahoma State…

My campus is being IGNITED with the love of Jesus today. There are tons of people walking around passing out valentines from Jesus today!!! Is that not so cool?!? Last week, one of God’s beautiful daughters decided that she wanted this year to be different. She posted a video on facebook proclaiming the love of Jesus to every single one of her friends. Just like many of us, she was seeing the numerous “I wish I had a special someone” posts on facebook, and she was tired of it. She was torn up about it, torn up enough to make a difference. She inspired many people to gather together and make over 200 valentines to pass out that said different things such as “Jesus loves you.” I don’t know what you think about that, but that is so FREAKING COOL!!!!

The reality of this is…what took so long? Why did it take the body of Christ this long to step up and step out? We are so good at accepting the love of Jesus, and knowing He cares for us. What about all the people that don’t know the love of Jesus. We should be so overwhelmed by the love of Jesus that we can’t help but share it! Why is it so “hard” to share the love of Christ and proclaim His name to those that don’t know?! We have found something so incredible; we are so engulfed by this love that we base our entire life off of it. Everything we do and believe is based off of this love, and we are selfish and keep it to ourselves?! Share the love of Jesus! Love the world that He created enough to share Him! He is the light that shines bright through you, share Him in your actions, but that’s just not enough. Bring up His name! Honor Him with your words! Speak the name of Jesus and share His words with those around you! There are so many people one talk away from joining our family! Why can’t YOU be the one to welcome them home?! Share the love of Jesus, and make sure everyone knows that they are not alone. They are not single. They are not hopeless, and the love of Jesus is BETTER than any chocolate you could ever eat! (That’s saying a lot coming from me!)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY LOVES! EMBRACE THE HOLY DIVINE LOVE OF OUR SAVIOR! LET THIS BE A DAY THAT HE ROMANCES YOU ALL DAY LONG AND SHARE IT WITH THOSE  THAT NEED IT!

 

Sometimes A Girl Just Needs to Get Tangled

There are many days in my life where I notice I can’t do things.  I am a girl with a lot of creativity, a lot of dreams, a big heart, and not a lot of time.  I find myself constantly thinking, constantly wanting, constantly dreaming, constantly stressing myself out.  Why do I do this, you may ask…I have NO IDEA.  Sometimes I wish I could just shut my brain off and not dream, not desire more, not think.  The reality of that is…the more I try to shut my brain off, the more it works itself into a crazy tussle.

Jesus truly has blessed me with a big heart to serve.  There are so many things I think about, I want to save all the orphans, I want to rescue every slave, I want to buy all of my friends caramel apples to brighten their day, I want to smile at every single person having a bad day.  The reality of all these things is that one person can’t do them all.  None of these dreams are bad.  There is nothing wrong with having a heart overflowing with love.  That is if you’re careful with it…

There are many times I want to love the world, and I don’t receive love back.  There are many times I want to save every person, and I can’t even save one.  There are many days that I want to brighten with the joy I find in Jesus, and I can’t make one person laugh.  The blunt and honest truth is I have been seeing a lot of disappointment these days.  I have tried to save the world, encourage my friends, support and affirm those around me, plan trips, take rides…you name it and I’ll do it!  Even though I have been feeling a little bogged down, Jesus has still revealed Himself.

If you’re not careful with a big heart, you could easily find yourself investing your life completely in the arms of another human.  Giving your heart to anyone but Jesus is asking for disappointment.  It’s not fair to yourself and it’s not fair to them.  No one can fill the shoes of Jesus, and it’s really not fair for us to hold them to that impossible standard…The Lord has given me such a joy from doing all these things!  Is it always easy and full of fun? No, it’s not fun to get tossed aside.  It’s not fun to be rejected, or smile with no reciprocation.  It’s even harder to constantly get thrown aside by your friends, but the greatest thing is that JESUS IS ENOUGH.  He fills my cup in the mornings before the sun even begins to rise.  He overflows my cup with His goodness before anyone around me has the chance to bring me down.  I don’t need the return, and I can keep dreaming; my mind can keep racing because Jesus has so much to say to me 🙂 Sometimes Jesus simply wants me to rest in Him, and let me have a day for just…rest…

Wouldn’t be just wonderful to actually be in the boat with all the glorious lights around you?!? Gives me chills every single time!

These are the days I get to paint my nails, eat lots of cookies, lounge on the couch, pop in Tangled, and enjoy the goodness Jesus speaks through that movie.  My mind relaxes, and I don’t even remember the disappointments of the day.  I forget that things didn’t go like I wanted them to, and I simply rest in Jesus.  (I’m secretly thankful for a minute that people made me sad that day) 😉

This is one of those days…

Self-Photo Challenge

Ok, so I usually like to make my blog about something completely different than myself…or do I? I don’t know…I never know what to write, but one thing that has really been on my heart is how easy it is for us to criticize ourselves.  It breaks my heart when I hear people speak badly about himself/herself.  One thing I really like to do is compliment people and love on them.  I am really good at noticing how beautiful other people are, and I LOVE to tell them repeatedly how beautiful Jesus made them!

The thing that hit me this week was this: “how often do I take the time to notice how beautiful God made me?” It is so super easy for me to compliment my friends and tell them how amazingly beautiful Jesus made them, but rarely do I look in the mirror and say, “Dang Meg! Jesus did a good job on you!”  That needs to change!  Practice what you preach right?!?  I’m not saying I need to become obsessed with myself, but I do need to be thankful, and notice the beauty that God created me to be.

I was challenged with this when I read my BEAUTIFUL friend Kara-Kae James Blog! She is taking the “Self-Photo Challenge” from The Paper Mama’s blog.  Now this is a contest, but I think it’s more fun just to do it for me 🙂 I am taking the challenge of noticing the beauty that Jesus made me, and I am doing that with this post right here!

Obsessing over…

Going overseas! I wanna do mission trips all the time! I can’t stop thinking about helping children all over the world! AHHHH! Here I am! Send ME!

Working on…

Stinking schoolwork…MUST GRADUATE! : /

Thinking about…

Taking a nap later on! I’m extremely tired, so my excitement is derived from the joys of an afternoon nap! WOOT! WOOOOOT!

Anticipating…

Spring Break! I wanna go camping with Jesus!!!!

Listening to…

My teacher talking while laying on the floor (no joke….he is on the floor giving his presentation)

Eating…

Right now…powder sugar doughnuts and drinking a mocho frapp from Starbucks 🙂

Wishing…

I was done with school! Classes are beating me up!

There Was Something Different This Year

Christmas was a different special story in my heart this year.  Let me just explain how my Christmas spirit usually played out in the past.  I have a weird addiction to baking, and I am overly obsessed with Christmas music (I usually start playing it in October).  I love Christmas decorations (considering I personally own 4 Christmas trees).  I was voted “most likely to celebrate Christmas all year long” my senior year of high school.  It is not a secret that this is my favorite time of the year.  I love everything about this time of year.  I really couldn’t explain why…

This year was another story however.  I didn’t even think about Christmas until one of my roommates started making snowflakes for our house.  I realized toward the end of November that I didn’t even know where my Christmas CD’s were.  Christmas parties were nowhere near my calendar, and I hadn’t bought one gift until the second week of December.  This was very strange for me, and so I tried to whip myself into shape.  I sat down and thought about planning a party, finding my CD’s, and much more.  I quickly realized that it wasn’t fun anymore.  I couldn’t stand any of the Christmas carols that I used to LOVE. The last thing I wanted was a hippopotamus.  I wouldn’t listen to anything that wasn’t for the glory of Jesus anymore.  Now most people are probably thinking…that’s not bad right?  OF COURSE IT’S NOT! It was just weird.  Miss “I still believe in Santa at the age of 20” was gone.  I didn’t care about Santa (He actually really scares the crap out of me creeps me out).  I didn’t understand what changed until I really spent some time with my heavenly Father.  It is kinda like Cindi Loo when she sings that song about “Where are you Christmas”, but I was praying “What changed about me Jesus”.  He simply showed me how different my heart was.

Christmas isn’t about the candles, lights, presents, family, sweets, and all that other crap wonderful stuff I used to be obsessed with.  Christmas is the celebration of our Savior’s birth.  It really hit me this year that people need to see Jesus.  Yes, it’s good to help at homeless shelters, and yes it’s good to offer your time or goods to those that don’t get to have a wealthy Christmas.  But the most important thing is they are lost without knowing our King!  They are lost without knowing that they are adopted children of our heavenly Father, and He is here with us.  EMMANUEL.  It is a season of worship, a season of praise, a season to really think about the INCREDIBLE miracle that breathed His first breath in a stable many years ago.  I can’t even imagine the thoughts that were running through minds that night…

What did Mary think when she felt the kicking of our Savior in her belly?  How did she feel knowing that she was going to be nourishing the King of Kings?  This simple girl was chosen to have the most intimate relationship with our Savior…Mary and Joseph were the first ones to see our Savior face to face.  They held Him in their arms and kissed His precious face…OUR KING! Are you kidding me?!?!  What was felt when she gave birth (I mean besides incredible pain) to our Savior?  Did people know the second He took His first breath?  Was there a change in the air?  Did people feel peace just sweep over them and not know why?  Our whole world was shaken in one night!!!  How did the shepherds feel as the stepped into the Lord’s presence?  He was only a little baby, but can you even imagine stepping into His presence, knowing that you were INVITED! YOU WERE TOLD TO SEE HIM?!?! Dang!!!  What did Mary feel when she first heard His cry?  What was she thinking the first time she was able to comfort Him and dry His tears???  A little baby comforted and loved by His mother…what did she feel??? What could you possibly feel as your son, the KING OF KINGS, the LORD OF LORDS, the PRINCE OF PEACE, the SAVIOR was laughing in your arms for the first time…oh gracious.  Every parents’ heart is melting right now.  What an incredible thing…our Savior breathing for the first time on this earth…

Who needs jingle bells and sleigh rides when you think about that?!

Beautiful Daughter of the King

Totally Slacking…

For those of you that know me, you are about to be blown out of the water. I am actually making some “resolutions” and I am actually going to stick to them! I know right! I’m going crazy! I know that the people who know me best just fell to the floor….whoever is around you, revive them because this is NOT a joke! I am actually going to do some things with my life! I’m no longer just floating around, I am actually going to make some commitments, stick to them, and write about them on this blog that you are reading now! I know, I know, you are so so so so so proud of me 😉

I know that New Year’s Resolutions are supposed to take place….ya know, when the New Year starts….but what can I say, I’m an individual for sure! Considering I have never been a huge fan of stupid New Year’s Resolutions in the first place, I am making my commitments now on February 28, 2010. I am committing to the following:

1) Mama and I are training to participate in the Memorial Half Marathon with my Aunt Kelly on April 25, 2010, and the Redbud 5K on April 11, 2010 — oober excited! (Keep asking me how it’s going so that I will be held accountable)

2) Reading the whole Bible by the end of the Year

3) I know this one is ridiculous, but I need to stop biting my nails — it’s a nervous habit of mine that just drives me up a wall, so NO MORE!

4) I’m going to get a job……eventually ha ha

5) I’m going to clean my room once a week (Yes, mama and daddy, this is legit!)

Anyways, short post tonight, but I wanted to get this down in writing so that I would kinda hold myself accountable…it will be good for me, and I am oober oober excited to get started! It’s gonna be an intense year, but I figure I might as well be ambitious while I’m young right??

More to come from my crazy mind later!